Patchocalypse Now
Last week, Windows update KB5046613 rolled out to “improve security” — and in a bold new interpretation of that phrase, it also killed Ethernet, Wi-Fi, and in some cases Bluetooth.
No network. No Teams. No way to Google “why is my network broken.” Truly, zero-trust taken to the extreme.
If you haven’t deployed it yet, pause and test first. If you already have… I hope you enjoy the retro vibes of a disconnected machine.
Quick Tip — dig Shortcut
Need to see where DNS is failing without 15 minutes of guesswork? Try:
dig @8.8.8.8 yourdomain.com +traceIt’s faster than waiting for Dave from accounting to “test it on his phone.”
What Paid Subscribers Got This Week
While you’re reading this, Paid readers already have:
The exact PowerShell rollback script to wipe KB5046613 off every endpoint before forced reboots hit.
Quick Tip #2 — Log Tailing Like a Pro — a one-liner that makes errors in live logs glow like a Vegas casino.
A config snippet to bypass the broken service until Microsoft issues a fix.
Sysadmin Misery Moment — The Patch Rollback Race
70 endpoints. One bad patch. 30 minutes until everyone reboots into chaos.
I made it. Barely. Paid subscribers got the play-by-play and the tools to do it themselves next time.
Mini-Rant — Vendor “Security” Updates That Disable Features
Patch notes: “Improved security posture.” Translation: “Removed 20% of what you use daily, but with encryption.”
— JJ
Still patching. Still regretting it sometimes.
theconfigreport.com